By Gregory Starbuck, Jan 24 2017 10:19AM
Indeed, this is a very good question, Why me?
That question, in this setting, has two different contexts. The first being ‘Why me?’ asked by you the reader of this blog post, about you and your life circumstances. Perhaps this question could be expanded to ‘Why is it always me?’, or ‘Why does this happen to me?’
The second context of this question is from my perspective, in the expanded question ‘Why should you choose me? [to be your counsellor]’.
So, let’s look at the first version of the question.
As we go through life and experience the various events and interactions that occur, we might begin to ‘see’ a pattern in the outcomes of these things, these might appear to us as being predominantly negative outcomes.
These repeated ‘negative’ outcomes can become ingrained in our thinking, and start to form a fundamental way of thinking about ourselves, our core beliefs, ‘Why me?!?’
These beliefs might present themselves in a variety of ways, for you, it might be the belief that you are responsible for upsetting others. It could be that you always see the worst possible outcome as being a certainty, or it could be that you ‘already know’ what someone is thinking about you.
Okay, that’s quite stressful already!
Now, let’s look at the second context of the ‘Why me?’ question.
'Why me, as your Counsellor?'
As an Integrative Counsellor, I am skilled in using three different models of therapy, Psychodynamic, Person Centred, and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
It’s perhaps not important to understand what these three different models of therapy are, but it is perhaps important to understand that they enable me to help my clients in a holistic way.
We are emotional, thinking beings that have relationships with others. A past, a present and importantly a future. For my part in your life, it is about helping to make that future a better one.
We might explore your past to understand its effect on your present, to understand how ‘why me?’ became such an important question, and has stopped you from living a more fulfilled life.
Through working closely, and openly together, we can look at the ‘evidence’ to see if it supports the way you are thinking.
But most of all, together, we can start to change ‘Why me?’ into ‘This is me!’